by Ryan Faist
I started a war in my last post, but this time I come in peace. Yes, I am taking a break from the battlefield to examine a little rivalry in the marketing world. Actually, it’s one of the longest running marketing feuds in U.S. history, affecting more than 200 million Americans every day.
As G.I. Joe taught me in the eighties, knowing is half the battle. So, before I jumped into the battle ring with two heavyweight companies that together generate more than $60 billion in annual revenue, I decided to conduct a little investigation of my own. I presented five people each with two unmarked cups filled with a different but similar beverage. Then, after recording which one they thought tasted better, I asked, “Do you consider yourself a Coke person or a Pepsi person?”
Coke and Pepsi have been battling each other for market dominance longer than any other two companies in the country. Pepsi tries to position Coke as boring and unhip; and Coke tries to position themselves as the original, authentic cola that can’t be replaced. They’ve been battling this way for decades now, with Coke enjoying a slightly larger share of the cola-drinking population.
But I don’t care who sells more or which one tastes better. What I want to know is: why are people are so loyal to their cola? In the cola world there are Coke people and there are Pepsi people. Everyone knows this. But it’s not like that with potato chips, candy, hot dogs, etc. What is it about this carbonated beverage that divides an entire nation of people?
Logic would submit that people choose Coke or Pepsi based on which one they think tastes better. I wish it was so. You may recall that Pepsi conducted a taste test much like my own back in the seventies. They called it the Pepsi Challenge. Surprisingly, most people who said they liked Coke actually preferred the taste of Pepsi. So Pepsi posted their results in a series of popular commercials that increased sales for a few years. But then, for unexplained reasons, things went back to normal and Coke jumped ahead again. Much to their dismay, the Pepsi Challenge suggested that even people who preferred the taste of Pepsi eventually resumed their loyalty to Coke… it was as though they couldn’t help it.
The fatal flaw in the Pepsi Challenge was that it never tested the “loyalty” of its subjects. It is my hypothesis that loyalty has nothing to do with taste. And after reviewing the results of my own study, this is what I learned: of the five people who participated in my blind taste test, two claimed loyalty to Coke and blindly preferred the taste of Coke, two claimed loyalty to Pepsi and blindly preferred the taste of Pepsi, and the fifth person was indifferent. Needless to say, I was puzzled. According to my results, loyalty does have something to do with taste.
But I just don’t believe this. If people were loyal to the cola they thought tasted better, why would the Pepsi Challenge prove otherwise? This is the question nobody has thought to ask… the question that certain people don’t want you to ask.
I have since developed a new theory about the Coke vs. Pepsi rivalry, and it has nothing to do with taste, nothing to with the cola your parents drank, and nothing to do with your DNA.
It’s the government. It has to be. There’s no other explanation. Big Brother decided your cola for you before you were old enough to say your first words, I just know it. How, you ask? Why, you say? All good questions. But remember, this is the government we’re talking about; they can do anything. So just picture this: you’re young and in love. You get married. You start a family. Everything is perfect. And then one day the doorbell rings and two federal agents in black suits are standing on your doorstep with a little brown briefcase. Enough said.
Think about that the next time you pick up a glass of your favorite cola. But act normal. Don’t let them know you’re onto them. Just take a sip, smile big and raise your glass to the federal government. They’ll be watching.
What follows will be heresy to the dinosaurs of the advertising world. I shall make no friends there. Never- theless, allow me to address the most pervasive hoax that the world of advertising has ever perpetrated upon an unsuspecting corporate and institutional world. It is the industry’s self-serving myth of “creativity” – you know, that pretentious, self-important, ego-driven myth that ad makers are somehow gifted while the rest of us are not.
You’re about to graduate college and begin the job hunt, but first you need some real world marketing experience. So you seek an internship at a public relations company. Hopefully, you’ve researched the available internships, talked to other interns, gone through an interview process and scored the one you’ve been looking for. But now what? Just go in, do your time, collect your college credits, scribble your new experience on your resume and boast a great reference? Not so fast. Every firm has had their share of good interns… and bad. 
